The principle of mirroring in personal development
The mirror succeeded to become a key part of personal development, and mirroring is one of the most interesting principles approached by psychologists, personal coaches, consultants, mentors, etc.
When we specify the mirror, we don’t refer strictly to the objects that reflect images, although it has its importance in personal development. It isn’t in vain that gyms, fitness rooms, and dance or aerobics places are lined with mirrors along the walls.
The principle of mirroring means the individual’s ability to reflect what is happening around them or to people that one comes in contact with. The mirror is the instrument by which the outside reflects our inside.
What does this mirroring mean?
When they are born, babies do not have a sense of self. A large part of their personality develops by mirroring the environment where they grow. Practically, self-awareness is built on the interaction between the baby and those around him/her.
Later in life, the principle of mirroring applies in relationships, at work, and in the environment where the individual lives. It’s not accidental that there are numerous expressions and idioms built on this principle: “You are what you eat,” “Show me who your friends are, and I’ll tell you who you are,” etcetera.
Another aspect of the mirroring principle is related to those „lessons in life” that we all hear:
When life keeps making us face similar situations until we learn our lessons; whether we talk about people, results, or contexts, the aspects that we unconsciously deny, or are unknown or not undertaken – they will surprise us systematically until we become aware of it and accept it, so that we would eventually begin our development.
For instance, if we talk about an individual who keeps trying to be cheerful or strong at all times, denying their vulnerability, he/she will attract sad and „weak” people into his/her life. Those people will mirror what the individual unconsciously has inside, but he/she struggles to repress it. They are just like mirrors – not of one’s conscious Ego, but one’s unconscious Psyche. The stronger his/her defenses are, the more situations will appear in life, where the individual will get closer to such people. Thus, without one’s will, he/she will end up with a boss or work colleague who is neglectful and distrustful, or fall in love with someone who lacks vivacity and determination.
If we talk about an individual who does not accept any errors or imperfections, he/she will attract people or situations that will irritate him/her, as they both have the error in common. It is how life forces one to live the experience of this unseen aspect of their own, namely his/her own tendency to confuse things, to mislead, to be inaccurate, or to make mistakes. The predisposition that one keeps unconsciously block will activate strongly outside him/her, but in the people surrounding him/her.
The principle of mirroring might work in our favor. We only have to be present and open to see, acknowledge, and accept the various neglected aspects. Any transformation that takes place inside of us changes something on the outside, and the mirror shifts to a different angle.
Therefore, once we accept what is inside us, the „lessons in life” on that aspect won’t happen again, and we won’t keep asking ourselves the question: „why does this always happen to me?”